Life is Messy

I wrote this a couple of months ago, but didn't have the desire to post it at the time.  A lot has changed since August, but a lot of the same questions linger with us.  I decided that since I haven't been very good at keeping in touch with so many people we love I would post this just in case anyone is curious about how our last few months have been in the new town.

It has been awhile since we have written an update and so much has changed! One word should give you the gist of what is happening around here...MESSY....and for those who know me well know that this is not a word I like to describe any aspect of my life. My house is clean, my appearance is put together, my daughter is dressed and has a bow to match her oufit (haha), I don’t forget things, etc.  But that has not been our life this past month and well I am not learning to live with it gracefully.  Nothing about the move went according to plan, we moved in just 2 days before Drew had to start the new school year.  Our lovely “move-in” ready house turned out to be a joke, and our bank accounts are feeling like we put them on a diet what with all the house expenses and having to get a second car.  I will add that some of this stuff did not come as a surprise, but when you put it all together we have been a hot mess and have missed important deadlines, etc. I know that it could always be worse, but right now we are just tired of the mess.

All of this has really made me for the first time in my life ask; WHY? Why this town God? What is here for us?  One thing I have learned a lot about this past month is sacrifice.  Drew had a taste of what it meant to put your spouse’s desires before your own, but this is really the first time where Drew’s career was the main reason why we moved.  When we moved to New England a few years ago, Drew took a boring job so that I could go to seminary and now Drew is working in a great school, but I am really struggling with what I am supposed to do in our new town. And, if I am being honest I have not been happy here. I have been ok with the move, but not happy.  Our search for a church family has been leaving me feeling very empty and sad.  One thing in particular that is making it so hard is that this time around we are choosing a church for our family and a potential future job (be that paid or volunteer for me).  Humans are not perfect and so no church is perfect, but we have found time after time that the churches take the children out of the service and as a parent I do not want my child to miss this communal, intergenerational time of worship.  So anyways, that has been hard and also it seems like everyone we have met has grown up around here (I am sure that there are other people who have moved here, but I just haven’t met them yet).  A part of me is jealous of the locals long history of living in one place and their access to extended family, but a larger part of me knows that a life like that is not what God has in mind for me or our family. However, the more we move the more I have realized how culturally diverse America is and the more complicated our life story has become.  Where are you from? Is not an easy question to answer, for I don’t think saying we are from any one state actually sums up who we are.  Yet, the one amazing thing that I have learned from my parents, my siblings and my own life is that family does not mean sharing the same blood or the same last name.  Wherever God has placed us we have built a rich community filled with people we cherish and love.  And, so here we are waiting and trusting that with time that will develop. It is not easy and most days I struggle, but we trust and dream for our future and presently give thanks for each other.

Our kiddos though seem to be enjoying the new house! 

Change is once again in the air

Well it has been forever since I last posted an update. Our life since Jan. 3rd has been greatly re-prioritized and time on the computer is near the bottom of the totem poll.

However, now that big changes are once again on the horizon I figured it was time to share how we are doing.

Drew started summer classes this week and will continue with those right up until we move to Richmond, IN and he will start his teaching job on August 5th. Please pray for him since he will literally have no transition time between graduate school and his teaching job.

I am headed out on Saturday with Ivy to fly to Idaho. I must admit I am so incredibly excited for the upcoming weeks. My heart is just waiting to be surrounded by family and friends on the west coast for the next month.  I can't wait to be with my parents and have Ivy spend time with her grandparents who live so far away.  I can't wait to celebrate the wedding of a dear friend/"sister" and I can't wait to have Ivy meet all of her "aunts" in IF.  I feel like I have been just living in anticipation for this time when I can relax.  I am also excited for Drew to get some quality sleep as he finishes his last few weeks of class and prepares for the school year.

To be honest the past few months have been incredibly difficult. I know many people who have had babies while a spouse is in graduate school or both parents for that matter.  And, while our situation may not seem like the most difficult one out there; it was our reality.  For a long time I really didn't want to tell people how we were truly doing because I knew that in so many ways we were lucky.  However, I realized that it was our reality and it was difficult and we were not ok.  Motherhood did not come easily for me and Ivy was/is not exactly the easiest baby around.  We spent many an evening/night while Drew was doing student teaching with a baby who was screaming for hours on end, in a one bedroom apartment none the less  We often felt helpless in trying to care for this little life.  I never imagined how difficult it would be to live far away from family during this time of our lives.  I cried basically the whole day after we took my mom to the airport. (hormones probably didn't help)  However, I will say that God has provided an amazing community for us here.  I want to say thank you so much to our church, small group, neighbors, Drew's cohort, etc. without all of you bringing us meals watching Ivy and Sitka I really don't think all four of us would have made it out alive from student teaching.

These next few weeks will once again be filled with ups and downs. We are hoping to buy a house and are so excited about this next stage, however I am also scared about those first few weeks/months when we wont yet know the community of people in Richmond like we do here. I am scared about being home alone with Ivy and Sitka while Drew inevitably works the long hours of a first year teacher. We are both not looking forward to once again having to find a church to call home. However, we are resting in the fact that God made it very clear that Richmond is where we are supposed to be and this is the job Drew was supposed to have. We are now just praying about what this move will mean for me and my job search and our family life as a whole.

So once again thank you so much to those of you who have helped us in the past several weeks!!!! This move is truly bittersweet. I felt quite strongly that our time was not over here, but it seems God has other plans. So, please be praying that we quickly get plugged in and God begins to show me what my new role will be in this town.

Oh and just for fun here is a little picture comparison for how much our little miss has grown these past five months :) Though it hasn't been easy this cutie is worth it, despite all the sleepless nights and added stress.

Just a few weeks old

Same chair and 4 months old

Just a couple days old

So big!

The Little Miss arrived!

Well it has been quite awhile since we did an update on our happenings......

November and December passed by with not much excitement.  It was wonderful to be able to host Thanksgiving in our apartment for a part of the Stonesifer clan and a Japanese family that live in town.  In December we celebrated the end of Drew's semester and my birthday, and well then the waiting began....

I won't go into much detail but here is a snapshot of the weeks leading up to our Little Miss's arrival and her Birth Story.

A lot of signs seemed to be pointing to an early arrival of our Little Miss.  At 35 weeks she had dropped considerably and at my 36 week appointment I was dilated to 1 cm and 50% effaced.  I was told it was a waiting game at this point, but my body seemed on the right track to prep for Labor and Delivery.  However, not much had progressed by 38 weeks; I was only 2 cm and 80% effaced.  I was having lots of Braxton Hicks and contractions that would feel more significant as time went on, but were never regular or really long.   My parents arrived the 26th and with my dad leaving on January 5th, we really wanted the baby to come promptly.  We were thinking about inducing if we got to like a week past the due date, which is also what my OB recommended. I really really didn't want to be induced but by 39 weeks I was emotionally done and we set up an appointment for January 5th to discuss induction with the OB.

Well fast forward...we made it through December and managed to keep occupied waiting for the baby to come.  However, I am not going to lie this was probably the hardest New Year's Eve I will ever have.  Drew was ready for this roller coaster to be over too.  He had been thinking that January would make for a more fun birthday than December, but at this point he was sorry for ever having wished for that.  So when I woke up on January 2nd (my due date!!) and started to have those cramping contractions I was so nervous to think that it was actually happening. I mean who goes into labor on their due date!?!?!  Soon after waking up (at 3am!), Drew got me settled into a warm bath cause strangely that is all I wanted to do.  We passed the morning by watching Gilmore Girls and going to a 24/7 grocery store to walk around.  It was pretty deserted.

By lunch time we were pretty sure it was the real thing, but I was still able to walk and talk through contractions.  We took down our Christmas decorations between contractions and my parents came over for lunch. However, not that much longer the contractions were getting stronger, so we called the OB to ask about whether or not we should let them know if we're on our way or anything, and they suggested that we schedule an appointment for a "labor check" at 3:45pm. 

We went to the doctor and he told us I was about 3-4 cm still.  That was hard to hear, since we'd been in labor for 13 hours at that point.  We kept thinking that things would take off at some point, but they never did.  It just kept moving slowly.   The doctor said we should try just walking around for a while till the contractions are 5 minutes apart, a minute long, for an hour, which we had heard from them in earlier appointments.  So we went to the mall to walk around, which ended up being a pretty stressful place to be. By dinnertime the contractions still weren't that close, but we figured we should eat something. So, we went to my parent's hotel since it was close to the hospital and had some take-out from Olive Garden.

After a bit,  my contractions were about 4 minutes apart and over a minute long, so Drew told me we would leave for the hospital after the next contraction.  Thankfully I was far enough along that they decided to admit me, and we were able to get settled into the hospital room.  As some of you know we took the Bradley method class, so we decided to do the labor and delivery with no pain medications.  I was in and out of the shower pretty much the whole night (the shower and Drew's amazing coaching were what got me through the labor).  We used a month's worth of hot water and a year's worth of towels in a few hours.

By about 1am or 2am I started feeling an urge to push.  However, I was not fully dilated and thus was told that I could not push.  This was the worst part of the labor.  By 3:15am they said there was still a persistent lip around the whole way, so we decided to let the doctor break my water.  Things sped up after that and the pain was much more intense!  Finally it was time to push!  In that moment, we decided to give birth squatting with the assistance of the birthing bed bar.  I was so ready to be done at this point (and actually I was also thinking that I really wanted to have this baby before our nurses changed shifts. We had an incredible labor and delivery nurse).  I pushed for about 10 mins and we had our little girl! We were so exhausted that honestly I think our first thoughts were "we are so glad that is over and she is here," though Drew's first comment to me was "Theresa, she has hair!!!"  A few hours and a long nap later, our brains turned on again and we realized we were parents!

She is now 3 weeks and we are starting to figure each other out. She has been giving us some nice long stretches of sleep at night (for a newborn), and has been eating well, even after taking a bottle or two (and sucking our thumb, her thumb, a pacifier, pinky, blanket, shirt... we're lucky!).  It has sure been an adjustment and I am so glad that my mom was able to be here for the 2 weeks after the Little Miss was born.

Here are some pictures:

The pediatrician still doesn't want us taking her out in public, but visitors are welcome!  Let us know if you want to stop in :)